Often, a trivial event serves as the catalyst. Tonight, it was the subtle sound of pages clinging together while I was browsing through an old book resting in proximity to the window. It's a common result of humidity. I found myself hesitating for a long moment, pulling the pages apart one at a time, and his name simply manifested again, quiet and unbidden.
There is something enigmatic about figures of such respect. They are not often visible in the conventional way. Or maybe you see them, but only from a distance, conveyed via narratives, memories, and fragmented sayings which are difficult to attribute exactly. In the case of Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw, I perceive him through his voids. A lack of showmanship, a lack of haste, and a lack of justification. Those missing elements convey a deeper truth than most rhetoric.
I recall an occasion when I inquired about him. In a casual, non-formal tone. Just a lighthearted question, much like an observation of the sky. The person nodded, smiled a little, and said something like, “Ah, Sayadaw… always so steady.” That was it. No elaboration. At first, I felt a little unsatisfied with the answer. Now, I recognize the perfection in that brief response.
Here, it is the middle of the afternoon. The room is filled with a neutral, unornamented light. I find myself sitting on the floor today, for no identifiable cause. Perhaps my spine desired a different sort of challenge this morning. I keep thinking about steadiness, about how rare it actually is. While wisdom is often discussed, steadiness appears to be the greater challenge. Wisdom can be admired from afar. Steadiness must be lived in close proximity, throughout each day.
Throughout his years, Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw endured vast shifts Political shifts, social shifts, the slow erosion and sudden rebuilding which check here appears to be the hallmark of contemporary Myanmar's history. Yet, when individuals recall his life, they don't emphasize his perspectives or allegiances They speak primarily of his consistency. As if he were a permanent landmark that stayed still while the environment fluctuated. It is hard to grasp how he avoided rigidity while staying so firm. That particular harmony feels incredibly rare
A small scene continues to replay in my thoughts, although I am not certain the event occurred exactly as I recall. A bhikkhu slowly and methodically adjusting his traditional robes, as if there was no other place he needed to be. That might not even have been Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw. Memory blurs people together. But the underlying feeling stayed with me. That impression of not being hurried by external pressures.
I often reflect on the sacrifices required to be a person of that nature. Not in a dramatic fashion, but in the simple cost of daily existence. Silent sacrifices that do not seem like losses to the casual eye. Choosing not to engage in certain conversations. Allowing false impressions to persist without rebuttal. Accepting the projections of others without complaint. Whether he reflected on these matters is unknown to me. Maybe he was beyond such thoughts, which could be the entire point.
My hands have become dusty from handling the book. I brush the dust off in a distracted way Composing this reflection feels somewhat gratuitous, but in a good way. Not all reflections need to serve a specific purpose. Occasionally, it is adequate to merely acknowledge. that some lives leave a deep impression. without ever attempting to provide an explanation. Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw is such a figure in my eyes. A presence that is felt more deeply than it is understood, and perhaps it is meant to remain that way.